Sunday, 9 February 2014

spirit of my life

One thing in life that helps me more than anything else, is to be grateful for what I do have in my life. When life starts knocking me down, I "choose" to put a smile on my face and think of all that God has blessed me with and how He watched over me through the darkest years of my life. Yes, the smile on my face doesn't mean my life is perfect, but it does mean that I have gratitude in my heart today. "Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. Ultimately, can choose to let my past define me and confine me, or I can choose to learn, grow, and leave it behind. Just like the seasons, have the ability to change. In many ways, I already have, and never forget, however good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing can count on. So embrace it, and realize that change happens for a reason. It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it. Change is often resisted when it’s needed the most. Yet, if nothing ever changed there would be no sunrise the next morning. Most of us are comfortable where we are even though the whole universe is constantly changing around us. Learning to accept this is vital to our happiness and general success in life. Because only when we change, do we grow, and begin to see a world we never knew was possible.

There's no more wonderful feeling than to know that have purpose, that life has meaning, and every morning, can find a reason to say, “Yes, it’s going to be a beautiful day.” And every day, I find a reason to say, “Yes, it is a beautiful day.” And every night, I find a reason to say, “Yes, it was a beautiful day.” Then one day, I’ll look back and easily say, “Yes…It was a beautiful life.” I don’t know where life will take us from here. I don’t know what the next moment, the next hour or the next day is going to bring for us but I believe my journey has molded me for the greater good. It was exactly what needed to be. I am never think I've lost time, it just took each and every situation I encountered, to bring me to the ''now'' and now is right on time.

My God, there are so many things to do and I feel overwhelmed. I pray for the right perspective and a calm disposition that I may do all things with the right attitude at the right time.  
But I hope, I will not regret the things I have done nearly as much as the things you have left undone. It’s better to have a lifetime full of experiences and mistakes I learned from, rather than a heart full of regrets and empty dreams. Someday I will want to look back at my life and say, “I can’t believe I did that!. I believe the one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell and and also I believe we don't meet people by accident they are meant to cross our path for a reason. Don't regret knowing the people who came into our life. Good People give me happiness. Bad ones give experience. The worst ones give lessons and the best people give memories.

No matter how far I’ve come along in my journey, no matter how strong I’ve become, there will be times when I will get hurt. It may be my fault, it may be another, or it may be the result of something I cannot understand. In such times of difficulty and emotional pain, may I always have hope, believing I will rise again,,,,because part of getting to know ourselves is getting to know our shadows and weaknesses. Better say “Yes, I understand why things had to happen this way. I understand his reason for causing me pain. But mere understanding does not chase away the hurt. It does not call upon the sun when dark clouds have loomed over me. Let the rain come then if it must come! And let it wash away the dust that hurt my eyes.

I’ve asked myself the same questions, and of all the questions I’ve ever asked myself, this is one of the hardest indeed. And I must believe that all those who seek earnestly finds the answer that they seek. What it is that would make my life worthwhile and meaningful. It’s certainly not an easy journey, and it’s easier said than done. It may take even years for some, but take heart, and believe that it is never too late to find the answer you’re looking for. Change is never easy. And yet it seems, the only thing constant in this life is change. I am still in a journey, I am not yet home. I am still going to see some new places, climb new mountains, meet new friends, and get ready for new adventures. Am I  facing a new direction in life right now.

Hope is what keeps me alive without it I am lost and dead inside I know times come when there seems to be nothing to hope for but that is not so hope is a choice I make within my heart  so when dark times come upon  no matter how difficult it may be choose to have hope for without it, well what is there truly without hope, but a darkness that keeps us cold on the inside.  Life will never be perfect, no matter how hard try. Even if pour heart and soul into it,  will never have that perfection seek. There will always be broken hearts, there will always be days where nothing goes right. But  must accept and learn that even the most imperfect things will always be made better with love and laughter. A dream is a very important thing, it is like a seed one must plant and water and take care of so it can grow and bear fruit in time. When  find it, take care of it, protect it.

Tell,,,, what is the most difficult part of dreaming. Finding dream? Persisting in reaching for dream?  these are not the most difficult part it is that part when let go of the dream have worked so hard for, so can dare to dream another dream. Even the prettiest flower will die one day. It’s nature’s way of teaching .. that nothing lasts forever. Just remember "When you have nothing people play with you, when you are simple,,, people try to cheat you, when you have standards people call it attitude."

Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. Much suffering, much unhappiness arises when you take each thought that comes into your head for the truth. Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray. Sun glows for a day, Candle for an hour, Matchstick for a minute, But a good day can glow forever, So start your day with a smile.."First do what is necessary, then do what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

There are some people who put me down in life, mock my dreams, and challenge my personality, they look like winners. But in actual fact, they are only voicing out their insecurities and jealousy. I will not let them pull me down. Believe and accept myself and hold onto what  I believe in. When people hurt over and over, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch and hurt a bit, but in the end, end up polished and they end up useless.

And the last I just believe at difficult time, I know I am never alone because God is with me and He will do for me what other people could never do. He knows I better and His love is strong enough to embrace me in my deepest hurts. God always bless me.


Kutowinangung, February 9, 2014 16:50PM




Sunday, 19 January 2014

I can fly again,,,and higher


This heart ever got hurt
And even broke into pieces
And at that time
I can only sit between the pieces
I looked at one by one
With bowed head
With a teardrop
pain
painful
smarting
At that time, I was only able to collect the pieces
Without being able to rearrange again
The more painful sense of time want to shout
But just stuck in my heart,,,
Oh God,,,,
Is this the taste of heart pain
Very deep
really hurt

I can't believe, this happened to me
I never imagined this all before
The wound was so deep
I can't believe I'm having the worst time at that time
Am I able to stand
Am I able to rearrange the pieces
Oh God
I can't understand what happened to me at that time
love,
My love hurt me
Love made ​​me become so weak
At that time Love as though has destroyed my world
At that time
Yes,,, only at that time
I didn't think that I would be able to
I think I was really going to die
I just wanted to take a dagger or go to the brink

Really just death that I want that time
God,,, God oh God
I don't want anything
I want You take my soul
I want You take my life
I had no hope
I am weak and helpless
Love oh my love at that time
I really never expected
It ever been part  the story of my life
If at that time I didn't think about the night
about morning time
about rain
and about hope
May now I was buried
Died for love
Yes,,, night,,, night not always dark
The morning will always replace the dark night

Rain will immediately go and rainbow will come
All will change
There is hope in the future
If I don't expect this to happen
I also have the hope to be able to smash all of these
I have God
And I believe this is his plan
The storm will soon be gone
And really it's all true
Take a long breath, with closed eyes
I was able to convince
It's just a story that will adorn my life
Do not let it continue to be a long story
Stop
Pick up the pieces and rearrange again
Wipe tears and smile
Trying to feel I became more stronger
I feel my life more nuanced
Yes,,,,, don't die
Don't ever think about it

Go to the edge of abyss
Just to shout
Shout,,,, "I can,,,,,"
Look at the sky
There were birds flying freely in the sky
Feel liberty of them
Feel flap their wings
That could bring it to fly higher
Among blistering and storm
Yes,,, and please look at me,,, my love
Love which was almost killed me
I'm still here
I can smile again
My heart which in pieces
Now has been re-arranged with a beautifully
I was able to go through the hard times
And I could go back to my life
Which ever I waste it because of you oh my love
Now look at me my love

You almost killed me,,, my love
But I didn't die because of you
The only hope now
Hopefully this doesn't happen to you
Because I'm not sure you are able survive like me
Thank you for leaving me
Thanks for all the sense which ever you give it to me
Thank you for making me became stronger
Thanks because of your love I have a story for today
Thank God
My love has made a valuable lesson for me
Thank for create my love story
Now I want like the birds in the sky
Flying high and never look back again

Kutowinangun, January 19, 2014 19:30 PM

Saturday, 11 January 2014

it takes time to find true love




Good night world, goodnight friend hope and prayer that all of you are always in the arms of God, always blessed and always given path of light.
Tonight, just wanted to say a little about the 'LOVE',,,,,
 
Love,,, actually what,,, what love is, here's my version of love
Love can not be expressed with words, can only be felt. Love can make someone strong to be very weak, and could make the weak becoming filled with strength. Love is sometimes painful but also can make us feel very happy.
In love there smiles, tears and sacrifice. Always colored with squabbling, debate and jealousy, but that's love.
Whatever love is a positive, natural flavors and can not be avoided. Love does not have to have, but a love that can grow when we feel a sense of a sincere love. Love can grow when we understand that a person has gracious accept our shortcomings. Maybe we can't reciprocate one's love on that time, but from the way we treated us, so sincere and selfless,,,, through way he loves us not with mere words can make us learn to accept his love.
You can say sorry a million times, Say “I love you” as much as you want, say whatever you want, whenever you want. But if you’re not going to prove that the things you say are true, then don’t say anything at all. Because if you can’t show it. Your words…don’t mean a thing.
Someone says love hurts, but that isn’t true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that doesn't hurt.
Nothing is nicer than having someone who appreciates you in the smallest things,,accepts you in time of hardships, comforts you when you're troubled loves you no matter what and is simply happy for having you in their life.
At the last let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and has accomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, just believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.

It seems it just a little meaning of love from me, I believe you have a different opinion, and whatever it is with pleasure I would appreciate your opinions.

Love makes us learn new lessons each day,
Love makes us follow our own way,
Love makes us feel good all the time,
Like sweet melodies of the wind chime,
Love is a great feeling,
Love is world’s best thing!
Love sets everything apart,
Love binds two hearts,
Love sees no bridge but find its way,
Love is an expression, without any say,
Love is pure a feeling so true,
Love makes you feel everything new!

  Kutowinangun, January 11, 2014 23:30 PM

Sunday, 5 January 2014

always believed,,,storm definitely passed




I have had a lot of storms in my life
and I know You have been there with me
but I feel like I have been knocked down so many times
that this time it’s so hard to get back up
and as I have taken time to catch my breath
I have lost my momentum
I don’t think I can keep going
My God,
please grant me the courage and strength
to get my life back in control
hold my hand and lead my way
God
I don't ask you to make my life easier
but I ask you to give me the strength 
to face all my trouble
I'm never worry
I know You not blind to my tears
never deaf to my prayers
and never silent to my pain
You sees and hears and You will deliver
God
please open the eyes of my heart
to see the wonderful things
You have planed for me
I know all my dreams can't come true
but if You are with me for the rest of my life
I will live a beautiful dream every single day of my life
I may not end up where I always wanted to
but if I am in Your arms I have my world with me
I may not have everything
I always wanted in life
but I have You
and that is all I would ever need to be happy
God I love how You love me
I am surrounded by the beauty of You in everything I see
I feel comfort and peace when I am alone with You
But God
sometimes the chaos from the world around me
disrupts my soul and I feel lost and alone
God please help me to return to that place of Your protection
once again

Kutowinangun, January 05, 2014 19:50 PM

Friday, 3 January 2014

maybe there is hope maybe not

there is little hope
maybe
there is little light
maybe
there I will be back up
maybe
or maybe otherwise
maybe
your love come give me so much hope
your love come to illuminate my life
your love come for make me rise
but may no longer now
maybe all have changed
You are making me become more meaningful
but also that you have made me hopeless now
Love has turned into something painful
love that have convinced me about the beauty of life
has now opened the eyes of my heart
that it is not always
maybe only sometimes
and not completely
beautiful only in the beginning
but painful in the end
even so
I have never regretted
storm definitely passed
and all back better
only one me hopes
your love has made me life
Don't kill me with your love
 I will hiding my feelings of pain behind my smile
For your happiness...
I moved away from you
I stop talking with you
I don't even disturb you
But sorry i cant stop myself loving you...
And I still do always think about you
although you never understand about that feelings  




Kutowinangun, January 03, 2014 16:35 PM